Loving Versus Living

Why would I counterpose Loving and Living, as if they are in contest one with the other? Isn't Romance all about "living with love", or being in love for the rest of one's life, or some other such thing?

First things first: The way I see it, Love and Live (short i sound) are active verbs, not passive, just to get down to grammatical "tacks".

We have all met the person to whom life is happening: The bills were late, the job was lost, their lucky break got broke, and then, God help us, they fell in love (like falling into a bucket of vomit) and caught pregnant. Their cries ring through the night, running up phone bills and running out patience: "I don't know how it happened!"

This is passive Love and passive Living: it happens to them, and good or bad, they are its victim. There is no contest because they are not doing anything. The only thing more tiresome than reading such a story is witnessing it firsthand, or worse, living the nightmare.

What fun is that? Where is the adventure, the growth, the lessons learned? In short, where is the "story" in that?

Now, if we take the word Live and define it as "that succession of decisions and actions one makes toward desired goals and purposes," we have an active verb, and one which lends itself to the creation of a good story, to say nothing of an interesting life.

With that basis in mind, we can define Love, actively, as "the willing extension of grace, tolerance, and affinity to another or others, whether deserved or undeserved, and regardless of their receipt or reciprocity of such."

Immediately, we can see an interplay of these two actions, which can be in apparent conflict, one with the other, or in harmony, or in a state of non-interaction. One can observe that it is possible to live without love, or to love without living; but it isn't as much fun.

To be succinct, "True Love" is an act of faith which one can extend over and over again, and to multiple persons. It not only survives but supersedes time, space, and separation. It is not inherently sexual, but it is inherently spiritual.

To tell the story of how two people LIVE through possibly crushing situations, with all the unpredictable variety and outcomes of others' choices, and who yet find within themselves the personal strength to engage in the ultimate act of personal confidence and belief--to LOVE, also, not only thrills, but enriches reader and writer alike.

Loving Versus Living. How is the contest going for you?

--M

Romance for Smart Chicks (and Enlightened-And-Therefore-Totally-Hot Guys).
www.MeganCreel.com